a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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