Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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