I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
