Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
