I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love you.
Bad choice
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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