escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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