you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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