If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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