I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
