i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is my gift to your gina
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
be right there i have to get my cape