Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.

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  (330): May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad. http://tfl.nu/9tjq
  Replies (20) Good night (1169) Bad night (767)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.

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  (814): In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words. http://tfl.nu/vqcb
  Replies (25) Good night (1283) Bad night (2624)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.

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  (513): I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim. http://tfl.nu/b9e4
  Replies (15) Good night (5494) Bad night (902)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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  (360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke
  Replies (18) Good night (5425) Bad night (719)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2899) Bad night (1859)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.

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  (847): That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year. http://tfl.nu/exle
  Replies (16) Good night (3204) Bad night (1223)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

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  (865): I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me. http://tfl.nu/r0al
  Replies (8) Good night (3091) Bad night (624)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

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  (304): He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered. http://tfl.nu/u1qq
  Replies (20) Good night (2289) Bad night (884)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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  (479): I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense? http://tfl.nu/pnqf
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (438)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.

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  (860): you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something. http://tfl.nu/oy26
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (346)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.

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  (302): my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list. http://tfl.nu/q5hw
  Replies (8) Good night (439) Bad night (770)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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  (307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (274)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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  (540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy
  Replies (11) Good night (505) Bad night (920)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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  (860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk
  Replies (7) Good night (407) Bad night (1000)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.

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  (715): Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue. http://tfl.nu/ct5q
  Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (439)

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