Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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(651): Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards http://tfl.nu/4z51

Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (911)
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(805): View more from California

When do i get to see u next week?

(1-805): View more from California

When I teabag your entire family

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(805): When do i get to see u next week? (1-805): When I teabag your entire family http://tfl.nu/lkxo

Replies (12) Good night (1238) Bad night (2435)
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(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(510): i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter. http://tfl.nu/xztf

Replies (33) Good night (1984) Bad night (5529)
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(214): View more from Texas

bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

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(214): bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in. http://tfl.nu/k2ap

Replies (11) Good night (3937) Bad night (1196)
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(248): View more from Michigan

So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

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(248): So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in http://tfl.nu/mvwo

Replies (15) Good night (6982) Bad night (998)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.

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(203): I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it. http://tfl.nu/2i57

Replies (43) Good night (4174) Bad night (4495)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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(918): I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1tot

Replies (16) Good night (3826) Bad night (1174)
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(805): View more from California

Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.

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(805): Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life. http://tfl.nu/rnx1

Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (529)
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(984): View more from North Carolina

i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.

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(984): i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight. http://tfl.nu/cncx

Replies (22) Good night (4288) Bad night (973)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.

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(301): He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis. http://tfl.nu/pct3

Replies (10) Good night (948) Bad night (1984)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

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(248): Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower... http://tfl.nu/43yc

Replies (16) Good night (531) Bad night (2132)
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(909): View more from California

Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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(909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2

Replies (7) Good night (434) Bad night (1921)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."

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(901): I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from." http://tfl.nu/m6hb

Replies (2) Good night (1074) Bad night (479)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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(574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s

Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (380)
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(240): View more from Maryland

You said dick pics aren't attractive

(301): View more from Maryland

Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3

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(240): You said dick pics aren't attractive (301): Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3 http://tfl.nu/0mk5

Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (277)

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