Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love you!

  (323): View more from California

  You're insane

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha

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  (702): I love you! (323): You're insane (702): Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u! (702): Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/wtaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1144) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
  Replies (12) Good night (751) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

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  (818): I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/79dr
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (1803)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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  (403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like. http://tfl.nu/sasf
  Replies (25) Good night (9292) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed

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  (617): Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed http://tfl.nu/d8dr
  Replies (15) Good night (3377) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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  (913): I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me http://tfl.nu/t8we
  Replies (22) Good night (6670) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.

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  (203): She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good. http://tfl.nu/fc7j
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best

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  (541): blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best http://tfl.nu/qdc9
  Replies (17) Good night (3176) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE

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  (718): ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE http://tfl.nu/zykk
  Replies (8) Good night (2080) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick

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  (514): Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick http://tfl.nu/2v5j
  Replies (15) Good night (953) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

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  (678): And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger http://tfl.nu/5a5x
  Replies (10) Good night (1219) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
  Replies (12) Good night (2025) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.

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  (805): I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it. http://tfl.nu/mmaq
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird

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  (315): dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird http://tfl.nu/6em9
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (183)

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