Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (1951)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.

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  (859): I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song. http://tfl.nu/z4jp
  Replies (62) Good night (1284) Bad night (3604)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6852) Bad night (1362)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.

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  (608): Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker. http://tfl.nu/j5xk
  Replies (16) Good night (3888) Bad night (953)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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  (212): You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido. http://tfl.nu/8t44
  Replies (36) Good night (1198) Bad night (5204)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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  (301): Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning. http://tfl.nu/0np0
  Replies (6) Good night (5526) Bad night (799)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.

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  (240): i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark. http://tfl.nu/ophf
  Replies (9) Good night (6141) Bad night (1198)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.

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  (309): I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard. http://tfl.nu/r907
  Replies (4) Good night (2925) Bad night (905)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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  (610): He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/upxm
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (3616)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

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  (801): Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated. http://tfl.nu/dcl8
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (763)
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  (760): View more from California

  No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.

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  (760): No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity. http://tfl.nu/loos
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (857)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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  (519): I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me http://tfl.nu/9pcd
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (351)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?

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  (207): Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note? http://tfl.nu/0uql
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (220)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia

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  (859): I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia http://tfl.nu/fw8u
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (206)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?

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  (214): Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape? http://tfl.nu/49bo
  Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (84)

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