someone get that fucking seahorse.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text