so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.