Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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  (734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5
  Replies (100) Good night (1222) Bad night (22696)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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  (256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i
  Replies (33) Good night (3976) Bad night (1415)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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  (716): Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it. http://tfl.nu/yc12
  Replies (22) Good night (2690) Bad night (1935)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

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  (702): I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like. http://tfl.nu/ss9l
  Replies (23) Good night (4617) Bad night (1527)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  like hot dogs and buns.

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  (609): i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky (267): like hot dogs and buns. http://tfl.nu/crsi
  Replies (22) Good night (8492) Bad night (1350)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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  (248): He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of http://tfl.nu/1krw
  Replies (10) Good night (3716) Bad night (1061)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems

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  (401): i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems http://tfl.nu/61dr
  Replies (13) Good night (1297) Bad night (3094)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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  (214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d
  Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (1614)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for

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  (902): hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for http://tfl.nu/9vcr
  Replies (4) Good night (597) Bad night (2205)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

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  (252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (1059)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can

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  (604): Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can http://tfl.nu/fug3
  Replies (6) Good night (1232) Bad night (742)
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  (845): View more from New York

  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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  (845): On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though. http://tfl.nu/8a05
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (901)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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  (734): You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us. http://tfl.nu/gs5u
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (548)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (907) Bad night (654)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.

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  (425): Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting. http://tfl.nu/at9f
  Replies (5) Good night (830) Bad night (248)

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