Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
