he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
