Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Someone signed my nipple.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
