I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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