how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
