haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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