Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
