That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
