You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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