Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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