I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
