Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
