Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
