Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize