I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
