No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
