i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
