The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
