My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize