I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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