just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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