Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
