finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize