laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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