spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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