can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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