had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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