Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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