I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I want to have your abortion
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Randomize
