I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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