She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
