we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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