i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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