she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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