The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
