so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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