the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
