So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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