Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
