their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am never drinking with the goths again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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