Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
