I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize