considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
