her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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