Swine flu is the new snow day.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
