YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ketchup is God's man juice
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
