i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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