At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
