What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
